"I Read This in a Magazine!"

How many people out there have in-laws? Raise your hands. I do. Why do the in-laws get such a bad reputation? Most people get married, and marriage is one of those things that is continued along the generations, right? Which means that at some point most people will become an in-law to someone. Does that mean we all end up to be assholes? I don't think so. Unless there is some kind of in-law parenting school where they teach you how to become an asshole. I firmly believe that most people have nice, and dare I say wonderful in-laws. It's the medias fault for tainting societies view of the 'Mother-in-Law-From-Hell'!

Granted some people do have in-laws we would rather lock in the basement, and I feel for you guys. I however do not.

I am very lucky to have such a wonderful family watching out for me. But they do have their quirks. For instance my father-in-law has a thing against Bill Gates. (Bill, if your reading this, I am sorry. He thinks you should let people think more for themselves. Windows does all the work now. You're treating people like they're morons, man.) My mother-in-law reads magazines. The reading is not the part that can drive you crazy. It's the meal planning.

She doesn't necessarily make those recipes you find in the magazines, because that would be okay I guess. No she reads the health parts. She finds out what foods we should or should not be eating and determines our next meal that way. If we had a doll made in her likeness and gave it a pull string that doll would say:

'I read it in a magazine.'

'I saw this on Doctor Oz.'

'Let me Google that.'

'Do you want any tea?'

She means well, and as a Health-Nut-Sherlock-Holmes she hits the nail right on the head most times. All her expert detective work means we never get the Fun-Bad-For-Us-Food. She always cooks as healthy as possible. I know it is because she 'hearts' all of us. 

Before she had time to read magazines she wasn't so healthy. My husband says they ate things like fat sandwiches. Now I would rather eat broccoli than a sandwich made out of left over fat but it does give us an good idea of how far she's come. 

Now that I have CKD she has hit Google. I got this email from her the other day:

Just looked up what the renal diet consists of and there are lots of good things you like such as grapes, berries, cauliflower and apples.  However, it also lists FISH.  OOPS!  Now what?  Are we going fishing?   

xx Sussie

(I detest seafood and that is why she references fish the way she does.)

I am going there for dinner tonight. I wonder what we will be dining on? But one thing I know for sure is when I see her I will be giving her a big hug for caring so much. 

It's 4 am, I Lost The Battle With My Eyelids.

I live in an apartment nowadays. They call it a luxury apartment due to the granite counter tops, hardwood floors, over sized rooms, central air conditioning, a chef's kitchen, and most importantly the master bath tub can seriously fit four people in it. I have yet to try, but I'm really good at figuring things out spatially. Nevertheless a 1400 sq foot apartment is still not a house.

We were downsized this year.

We are very lucky. My husband found work right away in his field as an accountant. I don't work due to the fact I am on disability, and so far the Canadian government has not downsized me. I don't know many jobs that would pay me to take my medication and get well. I work very hard at being stable.

Mental illness is a challenge on the best of days. Just the drugs alone can be enough to turn your brain into pudding, at the same time it can be those drugs that make pudding your 'Happy Place', it is a vicious cycle involving pudding.

Yeah so. I now live in this wonderful A+ apartment, but the one thing that bothers me is: I don't have enough money to rent out the whole building to myself. For instance I have neighbors who live below me, and they must actually believe I want, no, no, crave to hear their music at 4 o'clock in the morning. It's the crappy kind of music that nobody likes unless you are getting high to it. I just had an idea: I think they might be doing BC bud downstairs! That would explain the bad music and the total disregard for folks that have to sleep.  Thanks, downstairs neighbors I too can enjoy your pot-head-classic-music until daybreak!

I really want to go to sleep. I keep trying to close my eyes but they won't stay shut, which makes me think my eyelids would rather being doing something besides sleeping. You know, if you can't sleep, it's your eyelids fault. You require those guys to do their job. You can sleep standing up, so you don't need your back, you can even fall asleep driving, which means your brain can somewhat be in the 'middle of something' before you run off the road, but it is your eyelids that make the final decision to go to sleep. My eyelids want to stay busy.

Yes, maybe I am a little on the up side of things. To tell you the truth this is the worse part of being manic. Not being able to sleep. It is lonely, scary, my mind starts to make my tired body do things like bleach the walls from top-to-bottom, or buy things off of eBay.

My wallet is safe, my walls still have marks, and I am not lonely because I blogged into the unknown universe.

Here's to hoping that my eyelids will start to cooperate with the sleeping medication I took. 'Yeah, you thought you were so smart. I gotcha there Eyelids.. I am mandating you back to work. 

Our Happy Family

This is me. I'm 37 years old, sometimes I feel 67, but I always act 17. I live with my small family of four- if you count my puppy. I am married to the love of my life, he has been my rock for the last 21 years. We have a 14 year old daughter, and all I have to say is she is perfect in every way. We also have a sweet puppy. Yes, we have the complete package.

But every fairy tale has to have villains. In my fairy tale story we also feature: The Evil Bipolar Guy and his side-kicks Borderline Personalty Disorder Man, OCD Pest, and Body Dysmorphic Disorder Girl.

Last month a new group of characters knocked on the door and some dumb-butt let them in. I think it might've been the dog; he's really friendly, but I have no proof. The new guys are mean, and they make me tired. Mr, Anemia and  his best friend Mr. Chronic Kidney Disease.

I am coping with my frienemies as best as I can. They are all here to see me. I should feel popular but instead I feel what is the words I am searching for?

'Frustrated, mad, and I don't know if I should laugh or cry.' One thing I know for sure the villains always get defeated and the Prince and the Princess always live happily ever after... Thanks Mr. Disney for giving me hope!

I just thought I would introduce you to my family. Come on in...