They, Them, Those Guys

Sometime ago I was in the kitchen with my husband while he was doing the dishes. We were discussing the merits of geometry. I hate geometry so much. I don’t know why it’s important to know how far a tree is going to cast its shadow at noon. (If you need to know about shadow casting for your profession, or if it's your hobby my apologies for being so dismissive about the whole thing.)

Actually it all started with discussing how wonderful my grades were in high school. We agreed that I rocked in biology, English, and history. We also agreed that I sucked at geometry. When I studied geometry it always involved breaking pencils and crying fits. I think I may have even tried to bribe my teachers with cash for A's.

Me: Math was one of my best subjects; thank you very much. (That part is true. I loved everything else to do with math. Plus I had a really good paying job so I could afford to supplement my teacher's salaries, and that is all I am going to say about that...)

My Sweet Husband: Yeah but you sucked at geometry.

Me: Geometry is not math! You don’t need geometry for anything useful.

My Sweet Husband: You need it for building bridges, buildings, and other important things.

Me: When is the last time you built a bridge? I don't see bridge building on your calendar next week? Did you forgot to write it on the calendar? (My husband writes every event on the calender. He doesn't just write about dentist or doctor's appointments; nope he also uses the calender to inform the family of when to make phone calls, give the dog his flea pills, and so forth.)

My Sweet Husband:  No, of course I am not building any bridges next week.

Me: See, since you are neither building a bridge or tower next week geometry was a bloody waste of time for you too. (He is an accountant, how many accountants use geometry?) We had to suffer through geometry in school was because they thought it would be a good idea to torture students.

My Sweet Husband: Who are 'They'?

Me: You know 'Them', you know 'Those Guys', come on,'THEY'!

My Sweet Husband: Oh 'THEY', 'Them Guys'.  Yeah, I have heard of 'Them', but why do we always listen to 'Them'?

Me: Ooooo that is a good point. I wonder why what 'They' say gets around so much…

When did 'They' become so powerful, and who are 'They'? I can’t remember 'Them' as a child, so I think 'They' are fairly new to the scene. I am certain 'They' were not around when I was a small child because I'm certain I wasn't walking around saying to myself, ' What are 'They' going to think of my outfit? How could my mom dress me in such a crappy outfit.' No I was perfectly happy wearing my green cord pants with my red and yellow top, and my Mary Janes to round out my outfit.

Does anyone out there know who 'They' are? Are they are group, a committee, a panel, or what? I know 'They' are important to most of us. I want to know why we care so much about what 'They' think about us: Are 'They' are going to think I am crazy if I go out with that guy from accounting?

I catch myself quoting them all the time…Well, 'They' say this…and 'They' say that...

I also buy into the crappy ideas 'They' feed me…
If 'They' say that wearing 'smoky eyes' is sexy then it must be true. Smoky eyes on me equates to a raccoon eyes. But who am I to argue? 'They' said it, and 'They' are never wrong.

I really care about what 'They' think. If my house is a little messy I have to clean it because… What will 'They' think if 'They' see my house this way? I guess on a positive note 'They' motivate me to keep my house clean. God forbid if I should have a glass on my counter or some fluff on my carpet.

I have a feeling that I am not the only one who is victim to 'They'. If you ask someone who “They” are- most likely, after some thought, people will tell you that 'They' are 'EVERYONE'. I guess 'They' are a committee after all!

It is my opinion that we all have a bad case of 'THEY-Syndrome'. I have it. I care too much about what 'They' think. It's for the wrong reasons. Am I nuts? (Don't answer that.) Why do I care what 'They' think about me? But the truth is since I found out that 'They' existed I have done my best to make 'Them' happy. I have tried to keep myself balanced and healthy. I have lost weight, and got me a tummy tuck, I drive the right car and have a beautiful home, I kept my handsome accountant husband around and we have raised a beautiful daughter, and the list goes on and on...I think doing all of these things are important and necessary for good life, but I should have done these things for 'ME', not 'They', 'Them', or even 'Those guys'. If you are like me, and you have 'THEY-Syndrome' you can do the following things to break the cycle:

1. Stop spreading the word of what 'They' say. Smoky eyes really do make some people look like a raccoon. It's okay to put an end to Cosmo's influence. Cosmo is the worse 'Theys' around, sorry Cosmo.

2. Stop caring about what 'They' think. You're your own person. Let the 'They' committee move on to someone else who hasn't read this blog entry.

3. If you get invited to become a 'Them', 'They', or a 'Those guys' decline and stay a 'You'. Judging others is  kind of how this whole thing got started.

4. Don’t do things based on what you think 'They' want you to do. This just encourages 'Them'. Just be true to yourself. Trust me you will be much happier. So dance in the streets,marry that cute accountant, do whatever makes 'YOU' happy. 'They' will get the message that you don't care about what 'They' think anymore and  'They' will  leave you alone.

In the past I always thought that if I lost weight, did my hair nice, talked just right, and followed the in-crowd, 'They' would like me better, and that 'They' would accept me. What I have come to realize is: that 'They' were always 'ME'. I was the one criticizing my looks, my dancing, and my beliefs. Now that I know my thinking was flawed I have to stand up and trust myself, love myself, and most importantly accept myself.

Following my rules have made me feel good in my own skin. As for today, I am proud of myself. In the end that is all that matters

Oh by the way 'They' still suck for making me take geometry...


  1. 'Those Guys'9 February 2012 at 13:28

    You wanna know what I Think?

  2. This made me a bit happier - thankyou.