My Weekly Rant

Here's my rant:

Facebook is a dangerous animal in the hands of the wrong person- pretty much the whole population. The worse thing about Facebook is when you post stuff on Facebook it becomes official. There are no rumors or guesses, because the tidbits of information came from youYou are the one who posted those embarrassing photos of yourself half naked humping a stripper pole. You are the one who wrote that status update that said: 'My boss is a complete wanker, douche bag.' No sorry that was all you. Let's not even begin to address 'Drunk Facebooking' that is a whole other issue by itself.

I am a Facebook-lurker, so most of the time I keep my mouth shut and stay out of sight. I look at your vacation pictures, I 'like' your status', but for the most part I sit in the background watching the circus that is Facebook. 

The following is a true story:

I was on the phone with my sister, her name is Ivy Jean. I decided to tell her that her name reminded me of the word 'vagina'. I didn't mean any harm by it. It was just a off the cuff comment. We were having one of those silly conversations. I realized that I am probably the only person on the face of the earth that made that  particular association...well until she posted this on her Facebook wall and these are the responses that came after. I omitted all of the last names to protect the identity of all those involved. 

Ivy-Jean
according to my sister the 'V' in Ivy-Jean, makes her think of Vagina. She wants me to change my name... Thanks Amy!!


Friend1  or your gender!!! lol
January 21 at 1:31pm · Like ·  1
Ivy-Jean might also be the 'G' sound from Jean...
January 21 at 1:31pm · Like
January 21 at 1:31pm · Like
Friend2 Oh Amy - but then Holly would have to change her name too
January 21 at 1:34pm · Like

Friend2 ‎('cause it's the Holly *and* the Ivy)
January 21 at 1:34pm · Like ·  2

Ivy-Jean k, just to please my sister and Alison's need to combine me n my niece's name. I will change my name to Pea, and Holly can be carrot.
January 21 at 1:37pm · Like ·  1
Amy Where is the 'dislike' button? Dislike, dislike, dislike, dislike, dislike, dislike! That was a private conversation. Oh, and 'Pea' would make me think of the pee.
January 21 at 4:10pm · Like ·  1

January 21 at 4:11pm · Like ·  1
Amy PS... 'Holly' doesn't need to change her name. I can't think of any body parts when I think of her name. Whew!
January 21 at 4:13pm · Like ·  2

Sisterinlaw Hahahahaha!!
January 21 at 5:17pm · Like ·  2

Friend3 Imagin if your name was Verginia? :D
January 21 at 5:25pm · Like ·  1

Ivy-Jean  If I change my name, then we wouldnt be 'the holly & the ivy anymore' S'ok, I'll go with pea... Virginia works too ;)
January 21 at 5:30pm · Like ·  2

Friend4 regina!
January 21 at 5:33pm · Like ·  1
o                                                         
Friend2 again  Yeah, you can Virginia, and Holly can be (north) Carolina. They're neighbours:)
January 21 at 5:37pm · Like ·  1

Friend3 I always got those two mixed up as a kid
January 21 at 5:37pm · Like ·  1
Amy  You got Ivy Jean and vaginas mixed up? See I'm not the only one.
January 21 at 5:57pm · Like ·  1

Ivy-Jean   Ok, so I now see how easily it is to mix up Ivy-Jean with vagina... I can't believe I've been using that name for 24 years, and no one has told me!!! 
So I need a name change... Any ideas??
January 21 at 6:46pm · Like
Amy No Silly, we love you just the way you are ♥

January 22 at 12:45am · Like ·  2
o                                                         
Ivy-Jean I keep telling you, 'Silly' just doesn't work! I say try again.
January 22 at 1:36am · Like
Amy  You DON'T want me to help you pick. Good night Silly, I love you.
January 22 at 1:40am · Like ·  1

Friend4 vagoner
January 22 at 10:35am · Like ·  1

Friend5  And whats wrong with it ?, it's abeautiful thing... u should be proud of that "V"
January 22 at 11:13am · Like ·  1

Friend4  vajayjays unite is whats happening here
January 22 at 11:20am · Like ·  1

Ivy-Jean  Yay for Vagina!!
January 22 at 9:05pm · Like

Now why in the world would she post that on her wall? I wouldn't have. I would have kept that between her and I. She didn't have to broadcast it to all of her friends that Ivy Jean has a link to vagina. 

I am not embarrassed by what I told her. I have no regret. My comment was not meant to harm or be spiteful in anyway. It is just one of those things you say when your filter isn't fitting on just right. 

Now when I say the word Ivy Jean I bet you thought of the word vagina. Now look at that; we associate the word vagina with her name.  Ivy Jean...gotcha again! See this stuff really works. Now you can use the two words interchangeably. 

Now all of her Facebook friends are in the same boat as I am in. Most likely they all think of vagina when they hear or see her name. I don't know how many people would be willing to admit it, but you know who you are. For the record Since she put it on Facebook, it's official her name is now synonymous with the word vagina. 

My sister, I do love her, and God bless her too. She decided to take this whole vagina thing to a whole 'nother level. She bought a Dairy Queen ice cream cake for dessert. It was yummy. It was a Cinderella cake. Yeah, but the bad thing was, she had the nice lady at the DQ write ''Vag Cake' on it. That cake was meant for a sweet little girl's birthday. But no my sister had to celebrate her new and improved name, 'vag'. Plus the ladies at my local DQ are going to think about vagina every time she comes in to get a ice cream. That is no way to live, Ivy Jean!

This too was also posted on her Facebook wall. With the caption: Mmm... Vag cake.... :D




Maybe I should have kept my thoughts to myself and never told her what I thought of her name. But I don't understand why she has to keep broadcasting it to the universe. I also don't have a problem with vaginas in any way, I say be proud if you got 'em. But come on a vag cake, really? 

2 comments: